Children," Honour your father and mother"

Children (Ephesians 6:1-3)

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honour your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth”.


Interestingly, when Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus, he expected children to be part of the congregation and among those listening as his letter was being read. These words are directed to them, and he gives them three reasons for obeying their parents. First of all, it is right. No society on earth can tolerate rebellious children without serious consequences. This is virtually self-evident, but still bears saying.

Paul next appeals to the Ten Commandments. Children’s obedience is not just naturally right; it has been revealed as a requirement of God. Children in Jewish society were considered morally responsible at 13 years of age (boys) and at 12 (girls). It is significant to note that when Jesus was 12 he was confounding the teachers of the law in the temple at Jerusalem with his understanding and answers (Luke 2: 47), yet when he returned home with his parents he was obedient to them. However spiritually precocious children might be, the commandment was still to obey their parents.

Finally, Paul reminds the children of the promise associated with the command – the prospect of the good life and enjoying long life on earth. The promise is not so much to individuals as to whole societies. Everyone will be happier and enjoy life to the full where children are given moral responsibility and they voluntarily act in the way God intended.

As in other relationships we have looked at, the onus is on those who are under others to submit to them, not on those in authority to ensure obedience. To say something like that in Paul’s context was as radical as Jesus’ telling people in the Middle East to turn the other cheek. William Barclay tells us that under Roman law, the father had absolute power over his family. Children never came of age, but remained under their father’s power as long as he lived. This is true to some extent in some modern Asian cultures. Even in those contexts, Paul tells children voluntarily to submit to their parents.

In our dysfunctional society the question naturally comes up, “What are the limits to this obedience to parents?” We all know horror stories of parental abuse. Jesus himself anticipated familial discord over his call to follow him:

I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against he mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – your enemies will be the members of your own household.’ Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me… (Matt. 10: 35-7)

From this we can say that one limit on obedience to parents is a demand that clashes with someone following Christ. The command is to obey parents “in the Lord” which implies “in everything consistent with being a follower of Jesus”. Other situations entail physical danger, which must be escaped for survival. But the norm remains: obey your parents and honour them.

We honour our parents by obeying them as long as we are children. We honour them for a lifetime by respecting them and caring for them when this is necessary. Respect for parents is variously expressed in different cultures. Most of my Filipino friends just cannot accept that putting aging parents in seniors’ homes is loving or respectful. In Chinese culture respect for parents, in fact for all ancestors, is carefully prescribed, and deviation from the norm is seen as disrespectful. So much so in the Philippines and other Asian Countries. Whatever the cultural context, the bottom line still remains the same.

Lord Jesus, who obeyed your earthly parents and honoured them, help us to encourage the children in your Kingdom to obey our parents and honour them, for the sake of your reputation and for our benefit.

Obeying and respecting and loving your parents i think is very rewarding thing to do. It will make you happy and really have a good life. I am talking from experience.
I advise you therefore to follow this commandment. If you fear God you will.